Ninjas,Voices, Pie and Therapy Cullen Style
by mad-as-a-hatter1997
Summary: I know this has been done many times but me and my friend have decided to co-write one. NO FLAMES they will be ignored, please review and favourite and yeah this is just some random stuff we come up with in school. Disclaimer: We don't own twilight


**A/N Hello dear readers, first off just to clarify I don't like Twilight I only like the pack which is why I agreed to do a crack-fic with SakuraRomance, she loves twilight but just likes to take the mic out of the cast. This fic will be posted on both users so if you see this on SakuraRomance's stuff please don't tell me. Oh and NO FLAMES we really don't like them.**

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General POV  
All was normal in the Cullen household, it was sunny so no one was in work or at school, and needless to say Bella was there because she couldn't live without Edward for two minutes let alone six and a half hours. So she skipped school and was at theirs.

Edward was bored of playing the same song on the piano for the 50th time because Bella wanted to listen, so he told her to go online shopping with Alice knowing that Bella would be engaged for the rest of the day.

"Now, now, now, now, now where is my brother that nearly sucked the life from my darling girlfriend who gets on my nerves at times." Edward bounded off to reveal to Jasper the secret he had been holding for years. "Brother, brother where are you?"  
"Nowhere, yet everywhere."  
"Jasper Carl Whitlock-Cullen-Hale get your ass down here I need to speak to you!" Suddenly Jasper magically appeared behind Edward.  
"You hollered." Jasper spoke from behind Edward. Edward jumped about 3 feet in the air.  
"What the hell! I didn't tell you to scare me to death!" Jasper chuckled.  
"You're already dead dimwit." Edwards face screwed up into something supposed to be a glare; however it just made him look confused.

"Anyway guess what, I've got a secret." Edward looked like a little schoolboy doing something against the rules.  
"Oh really. Is that the secret that you don't love Bella and just want her because when we leave you're going to drain her blood and put it in those little hospital blood bags that you can stick a straw in and drink from."  
"No not that secret no one will ever know that secret."  
"I'm here Edward." Edward looked shocked for a moment until Jaspers words kicked in he started rolling around on the floor over the fact that Jasper knew one of his secrets. However like the little sparkelpire he is he quickly jumped back up smiling.  
"That's not it though hehehe."  
"Then what is this _amazing _secret." Edward giggled like the girl he is, and whispered to Jasper.  
"I'm a ninja."  
"How can you be a ninja? Prove it." Jasper smirked knowing what Edward would do to try and convince him.  
"Did you see that?"  
"Yes, yes I did."  
"Noooooooooooo, 23 years of ninja school wasted." Edward was crying and rolling around on the floor having a fit and looking like an idiot.

"I however Edward am a ninja."  
"Fine then prove it."  
"Did you see that?"  
"Erm no."  
"Exactly!" Jasper looked extremely proud of himself until Edward charged and had him in a headlock in the blink of an eye, however Jasper had more experience in fighting so he quickly managed to get the upper hand.

After about 10 minutes of fighting Esme walked in to check everything was okay, only to find two of her sons throwing punches at eachother for a reason she didn't know. "What on earth is going on here? Is that?" Jasper and Edward stopped fighting and Jasper, being the smarter one jumped into the conversation.  
"Yes mum I do believe that is your coffee table." Edward hid behind the couch not wishing to see his mothers rant.  
"And why were you two fighting?" Esme askedher usual sweet voice replaced with an icy tone and her usual happy aura replaced with a demon aura that scared the living daylights out of the two boys. However after a minute esme managed to calm down which was when Edward explained.  
"Because Jasper is more ninjalike (A/N We don't think that's a word but oh well) than me." Edward sulked while staring at Jasper who looked extremely pleased with himself.  
"Dear lord you two need a therapist." And with that said Esme left and the fight over ninjaness (A/N still not a word but this is our fanfic) continued.


End file.
